Drano

I was going to write about the government shut down crisis and my solution for it. Seriously. But another crisis has arisen. My sink got plugged up. Potentially as bad as the sink plugging of 2012. (Mashed potato flakes are made to expand and if you want to get rid of a box, through it away. Otherwise, pouring it into a sink and washing it away simply causes it to expand, harden and become intractable for a long, long time. Trust me on this.) For the present crisis - My method of attack:

1. I tried running the garbage disposal. Didn't work. 
2. Used a plunger. Didn't work. It's a double sink (turns out that is the correct term.) The water could be made to go down one drain, but then would gurgle up through the other one.
3. Went to the store and bought Drano. Not just any Drano. I swear its called, "PRO STRENGTH
   
   DRANO MAX GEL". All caps. It was right on the label. Didn't work.
4. I read the directions. Even the unhelpful ones like, "Not to be taken internally." People that would do that probably should be culled from the herd anyway.
5. I did not read the later directions that basically said, "If this doesn't work, now you have a toxic mess standing in your sink. Call a plumber." If I was in the mood to call a plumber, that would have been step one.
6. Youtube. I probably should have started with that. It told me if you have a double sink and plunger it, it will just go back and forth (exactly what it did). You have to stopper off one side. That meant sticking my hand into the toxic wasteland to quickly plug it. I figured the key word here is "quickly".
7. Plungered it. Success!!!
8. Next, the Drano container said "Clears total blockages guaranteed! Or it's free.* What is the asterisk? Visit www.drano.com
9. There it tells me there is a form to run off. I have to fill it out, send it in along with my receipt. For one of the few times in my life, I kept my receipt. They said they will reimburse up to $5. I got this at an inexpensive store and it was $5.99. That is a little sleazy and disingenuous of them, but I'm going onward.
10. I fill out the form, put a stamp on the envelope (about 10% of the cost of the Drano) and send it off. It's a bother, but I will recoup most of my money and cut into their profits. 

First things first, so next time, I'll tackle the government funding crisis.