Top 10 Reasons I Didn't Watch the Academy Awards

I didn't watch the Academy Awards. Reason #1 was the power was out in our family room. The breaker went out and when it was reset, the electricity did not come back on. The fuses were checked and they seemed fine, so its wait for an electrician on Monday.

I did not personally check those things because I don't know anything about electricity. I am familiar with the phrase, "flip the breaker", but I don't know what it is or what it is supposed to accomplish. I do not know what breakers or fuses do. I'm not even sure what electricity is. Yes, its the flow of electrons. I thought they were attached to atoms. How do they just start flowing anyway? Apparently flipping breakers cause them to flow. I don't know.

So reason #2 I didn't watch is that I'm just not that into Hollywood stuff. Is there anything more pompous that this red carpet thing they have going on? Now that I think about it, let's make a list of why I don't like the Academy Awards.

1. The fact they have a red carpet extravaganza of people walking into a building.
2. The fact that people watch it on t.v.
3. The next day people put out "worst dressed" lists in order to ridicule people's clothing choices.
4. That people read those lists so they can also mock them
5. There are apparently really expensive gift bags for the already filthy rich nominees.
6. Jimmy Kimmel. He was the host. He said some Ssnide things about Jay Leno in the past. Jay is cool. You apparently are not.
7. Political statements. I don't need to be lectured by you. I probably agree with everything you say. I just don't need you lecturing me. If I was to get lectured I would like it to be by plumbers, teachers, salesmen, etc than by people that do whatever you do for a living
8. Thanking people I don't know. Why do we put up with that? Write those people a note. It will mean more to them and won't waste the rest of the world's time.
9. The phrase "a labor of love".
10. I saw a thing about how much money is put out to campaign for Oscars for a certain movie or actor.

With so much I don't like, what is to like? Well, I heard it got really low ratings. I guess that makes me kind of happy. Also, I heard about their big screw up at the end. They announced the wrong winning movie? Awesome. I hate myself when I get pleasure from other people's pain, but I just can't help myself here. You have one really big job for the year. Give them the right envelope. Nope, didn't work out. Price or Waterhouse or somebody is in a lot of trouble today I bet.

P.S. I just read that their "In Memoriam" tribute included someone who is still alive. Wow. Now I'm kind of regretting I didn't watch.