Sunday, March 10, 2013

Sorrow

For some reason the word and idea of sorrow has come up a lot lately – hearing people talk about it, etc. Certain things happen that take a long time to work through. 

Almost two years ago I got double crossed out of something I had earned and deserved. Its taken me a long time to get past that. In the aftermath of it I felt like how could I work for people that would do something sneaky to me like that. I would have been smart to have quit right then, but I didn't. I hung on for one more year before getting out.

I think getting passed those feelings is a combination of willing yourself to move on along with having time go by. And I think part of willing yourself to do it is keeping yourself busy. Theodore Roosevelt had is wife and mother die on the same day from unrelated causes. He later said “Black Care doesn't ride on a horse whose pace is fast enough”. I would think running for President and losing would be a tough thing to deal with. Al Gore seems to be doing OK, but I bet he still has a lot of sadness over losing. “What if I campaigned like a minute and a half longer in Florida?” There must be years of second guessing yourself and not feeling bitter about the guy that beat you. Probably some never get over it.

Anyway, that pretty much has happened for me, but I still think about that time. Last night I even had a dream about it. It wasn't my typical dream because in this one, I was wearing pants, but it pointed out to me that that difficult time is still with me on some level.

I've talked to some others that have had difficulties in their lives and I think that combination of will power and time is right. You can't just will bad memories away and just the passage of time doesn't do it either. Its a combination of the two.
 
I should take some of this and turn it into a book. People with less talent and insights than me write self-help books and make a lot of money from it. I could do the same. I could put that picture with me and Miss America on the cover. I think that would sell.

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